What is Unusual About You?
Thoughts on Paul Graham's Question
I really like the concept Paul shared in the Tweet above. The idea that the unusual things about a person are the things worth exploring more deeply or building products around is fun, but I find it hard to actually answer "what is unusual about you?" My guess is other people would struggle with that question too because it is so broad.
I've been thinking about what makes a good question a lot recently and one thing I've noticed is that good questions tend to be specific enough for a good (accurate) answer. This analogy isn't unique to me, but you can kind of think of questions as search queries for the brain, and something broad like "what's the best book you've ever read?" isn't an efficient search query. People tend to instead resort to recency bias and answer easier questions like "what's a decent book you've read recently?" So to get good answers to important questions, I think you need to trick the person you are asking (including yourself). Instead of "what's the best book you've ever read?", a question like "what book have you reread the most?" is more likely to return an accurate answer about what book the person finds the most worth their time and is basically what we mean by the first broader version of the question.
There is also an added social pressure when a question is asked in conversation versus writing. People feel the need to not take too long to answer because of the "awkward" silence that entails, and therefore sacrifice quality for speed. This is why it can be so striking to hear an interview with someone like Elon Musk who doesn't make that tradeoff and will instead sit in silence until he has an answer he is happy with. Because of this, I often frame my answers in everyday conversation as "a first guess" or preface them with "just quickly thinking through it in real time". And when I stumble across a genuinely good question, I often create a draft blog post with the question as the title of the post because I know to arrive at a truly good answer I will need to write on the question.
So back to Paul's question, "what is unusual about you?". I want accurate answers to it so I want to search for other routes there. The first thing I notice is that though we should expect to have answers about unusual aspects of ourselves, they needn't be unique. In other words, what makes me unusual is a description about how I differ from the average person, not all people. This makes the answers more interesting, because we can use the answers to find other people we share unusualness with. It also makes the question a bit easier to answer because you don't have to try to come up with an answer no one else could possibly relate to.
Some attempts at different questions that point to what makes someone unusual are below.
- What do you find puzzling about *others*?
The things we find unusual about other people are likely a reflection of what makes us unusual.
- Is there anything about yourself you've consistently been told is odd or even irritating at times?
This tries to get the brain to recall things other people have said instead of search for our own answers to what makes us unusual. Additionally, people tend to get irritated by certain kinds of unusual behaviors or interests, and this is much easier to recall.
- What do you do to procrastinate?
I suspect that once you take out the shared "time wasters" like Netflix or Video Games, the things we do when we are putting off the things we "should" do are indications of what makes us unusual.
- What is something you rarely get tired or bored of that others seem to have no patience for?
True interests are indicated by how we spend our time (revealed preferences). If we are not bored by things most people get bored by, there is likely an underlying unusual trait, interest or hobby there, even if it is simply "I am far more patient than most people".
- Is there anything you’ve wanted to exist or ideas you’ve had that others thought were silly or stupid?
What about your routines, ideas, or wants do others view as silly, impractical, or frivolous?
- Is there some category you spend much more money or time on than your friends and family?
Another "revealed preferences" shortcut to what we actually value. If you examine your spending and feel viscerally that is does not reflect what you value, it is worth understanding why and trying to change that.
- What is one of your hobbies most unlike your social circle?
The things that set us apart from those we are most similar to are very worthy of exploration.
- What is the least popular podcast, book, essay, etc you consistently revisit?
How good are you at gauging what is popular? The least popular media we spend time listening to or reading is likely a bastion of unusualness.
- What would you do with a full year off?
Remove the constraints of obligation. What remains will point to our unique interests and the things that make us weird.
I tried to avoid this part of the post, but I can't not include some of my own unusualness. Here is an incomplete list.
I enjoy spending hours reading essays. I like batching interesting shorter form reading by utilizing Printernet or Send to Kindle and going through 3 - 5 essays in one sitting. I like taking notes on a stack of folded printer paper.
I think I listen to far more podcasts than the average person. I think many people who follow me on Twitter or read this blog probably listen to a comparable amount, but on average I'd guess I listen to many more.
I go on 2 - 3 walks a day.
I am extremely adaptive and hard to stress out. I definitely do get irritated and upset, but common "stressful" things (given the wrong order at a restaurant, traffic, lost items, etc) don't get to me.
I am almost always up for listening to music. I can listen while reading, writing, coding, driving, you name it. Especially compared to Tessa, I am unusual in this regard.
I make friends with people on the internet.
I write more than most people. I probably write at least a little every single day. I also enjoy writing by hand a lot.
I am a deep sleeper and rarely have trouble falling asleep. I can sleep almost anywhere.
I enjoy "working" in my free time. After work I typically work on side projects for fun and usually have at least 2 - 3 going at once.
I am mostly vegan and haven't had meat in 9 years.
I go to the movie theater 2 - 3 times a week on average.
I love going to the post office.
I write and record about 20 songs a year.
Does any of the above amount to a good startup idea? Who knows, but I suspect the deeper you go the more fruitful the exercise.